Split-second Insights

"Shhh"
Said she
A black-bangled hand
Shaped the sound
A straight finger, a dangling thumb and four folded fingers
Said "shhh" to me
But her lips pouted another sound
...
What was that?
I closed my eyes
And cringed my ears
Then I could hear it
Distantly
Like a train jogging in the night
Or a wave crashing on an angry beach
"Come..."
She said with her lips
I opened my eyes in shocked comprehension
The knowledge was sudden and surprising
Like a childhood memory that I grasped so late
In a single shot it killed my naivety
And injected the power of  unknown, exciting opportunity
Opportunity that promised of danger and derision
Opportunity that smelled of exhilarating fulfillment
My heart stopped right then
At that moment
Cold fear like cold water flooded my inners
Oh, I was submerging
I shall soon sink!
Is this what they call, 'cold comprehension'?
But I was warm everywhere else
No hot
No, I was feverish everywhere else
My forehead vein made its presence known
Rightly splitting my head into equal halfs of the conundrum
Her nostrils were apathetically calm at the sight that I was
She breathed so evenly
While I was struggling for air
I dared to raise my eyes and meet her gaze
Oh, oh!
That murderous woman!
She was smiling
In the most sweetest, detached form possible
A smile that could have twinkled in the eyes
Only of the enlightened ones!
Oh, the contradictions you inhabit
And the choices you offer!
The way you play
The tests you set
When I smirk the satisfactory smirk of the puppeteer
You turn the gameboard
And there, I find myself
Twiddling breathlessly as a puppet
You horrible woman
You know I hate you
You know I love you so bloody passionately
You know I am your child
Your helpless, tantrum-sprouting child
Your crazed lover
And, rarely, in paucity
Your husband
Who stands firm and walks straight, holding your hand
Oh goddess!
I am trailing and fighting
To wear the crown that I crave
I am waiting for the day
That I shall stop writing poems
And be solely your master!!

- Chandni Girija
17-05-17