Unbecoming

I accept my unbecoming

Grace, oh grace!

As you crush my back

As I twist

Snap

And fall

As I fall,

In the falling

In the hitting

As my body hits the ground

As my limpness hugs the dust

In the hitting

In the hugging

In this burst of velocity

And the stillness after it all

I smile

Oh grace, oh grace,

I am uncontained with mirth

Look at it, grace!

Look how its crimson spreads above me

Gaseously 

Not swirling

Not in any proud clouds

Quietly lifting above

Hugging the world

On it goes, grace!

As you crouch near me

As we both wait

For the endness of the crimson

Which we know is not coming

In this moment

In this silence

In my complete giving

And my knowing

Oh grace,

We smile

Both of us

Like comrades of a batallion 

You through your twinkle

And me through my red, liquid gurgling

So beautiful this is, grace, 

A beauty such that it excruciates  

I accept this pulsating crucifixion, grace!

I accept your lesson

This unravelling

I accept my grace!

- July 12, 2020