I Met The Dog

My feet moved on
Groping aimlessly
In a world dripping blue
Darker than the ocean
But vast as it

Fangled thought bubbles
Rose and burst
Rose and burst
Firing the senseless
Cacophony in my ears

I bled grey
Darker than the fog
But dense as it

The air was glass
Solid, impenetrable
I gasped and gasped
And then sighed smilingly
Yes, soon…
Soon I told myself!

Then I met
I met this dog
With a half-gnawed face
A missing ear
And a gashed chest

We met on the road
Me, lost
It, resolute
Our gazes converged
And left me aghast

I wondered, beseechingly
Oh, why go on?
On with such misery?
The dog just smiled
From its mangled mouth
And on it went
Where its purpose beckoned

On I went too
But the dog’s tail
Wagged in my head
If it had to see
What colour the world be?
Red?
Of anger, of hurt, of misappropriation?
Or black?
Of defeat, of finality, of nothingness?
I think it was yellow
Bright or faint, I don’t know
A yellow
Of hope

If it was so
So stupidly resilient, that dog
If it could grit its teeth
And walk on,
Why, oh why
Should I be so wise?

If the dog could survive
I could do better
I could create!
Bit by bit,
But build something
Different and away
From this non-entity, my life!
No, no, no…
Destruction was easy
Way too easy
I could do better!

I picked the crystal
Buried in my bag
The nectar of death
Twinkled in the sunshine
I threw it away
And...
Yellow, yellow, yellow
I chanted,
Yellow, yellow, yellow...

- Chandni Girija
(Exhorted by TISS Counselling Centre, Dedicated for 'World Suicide Prevention Day - Sep 10')